The Blatant Rpg
by Hiro Konobu
Summary: [Discontinued]This is just an earlier fic of mine that got deleted cause it was in script form, just a parody of rpg's is in this story. Now Chapter 3 has been added.
1. The Chapter That Starts Off Everything

**The Blatant Rpg**

**By Hiro Konobu**

**Chapter 1: The Chapter That Starts Off Everything**

This is just an attempt to make a blatant rpg parody right here on Radio Hiro, and by the way I have little knowledge of rpg's I don't own anything except Radio Hiro.

(Place: Mt. Big hotel, Kaori is playing one of those generic rpg games.)

"There is just nothing better after a run at the junction then playing a generic rpg with a typical strong male lead, your typical hot and/or cute female who is either fast or has good magical abilities, and some whiny character."

(Just at this point Hiro and Marty come in.)

"How's the game Kaori."

"It's good even if it's generic, and Marty what are you doing here?"

"One to tell that Hiro got that game for five bucks and two to ask if you want to clubbin' with me and Hiro."

"Sure let me save my game first, and we will go."

(Kaori turns off her game, but then with all cliches the door locks with all three of them still inside.)

"How the fuck did the door slam shut?"

"I am generic for a reason imbeciles, for I am the ultimate who is reborn into this travesty of a game. After I somehow got out of zatrion or whatever that robot's name was, any way now my soul inhabits this game."

"Just when you think Dave destroyed the ultimate he comes back."

"That's right fool, and not only that but as soon as all of you die I get take a body of my choice."

(Cue evil laughter, and now a portal to said game opens up and Marty, Kaori, and Hiro get sucked into the game.)

(Hiro is now just getting up after being sucked in the game) "Stupid ultimate sending us into this game, you know Kaori, and Marty let's get back at the ultimate after we get out, and get back at the person who sold this game to me for five bucks." (Kaori, and Marty nod their heads in agreement to that.) "Oh and some questions where are we and why do I have a baroque sword on my side and look like a warrior? Kaori why do you have a basic staff on your back and look like a black mage? Marty why do you look like a person who is of the monk class?"

(Now all three of them look at each other and look surprised but with no words now they look at the vast meadow that surrounds them, and the town right across from them)

(Kaori now looks at the vast meadow) "Come here guys this meadow looks absolutely beautiful." (Calls Hiro and Marty to come here)

"She's right it is."

"It still doesn't explain where we are now does it"

"Then let me check that sign over there."

(Kaori walks up to sign)

"It says Green Town, and by the looks of it, it's a town that usually starts off an adventure."

"Kaori is right, and we should have some money to buy equipment and lodging."

"How do you know all of these things?"

"Well me and Hiro are Japanese so me, and Hiro are forced to know this, and the author is currently trying to remember Rpg rules."

(At Radio Hiro)

"Curse you Kaori Nishidake."

(Back to Green Town)

"No problem author."

"One more thing how did we get into town so quickly?"

"The author loves to skip the story a lot, because he can't write a good plot even if he tried."

(Suddenly a huge wave of water comes crashing down on him)

"What was that for?"

"Don't make fun of my writing skillz you Mac clone. That's why I casted Watera on you, and now back to the story."

(Now in a shop looking at the various equipment inside the store, and the Chocobos, Save spheres, and Moogles outside)

"The have some good sword weapons here like a Frost blade, No Name, Korefuji, Midas Blade, and this cool Wo Dao which I'm holding right now."

"Marty does not pay any attention to Hiro's statement and goes to look at more of the place."

"Look at these good magical weapons like this Wisdom Rod."

"Can we just go now, besides we have no money anyway."

"Sure but look at that dark cloud over there."

"I guess the ultimate wants to make sure that we lose this game early."

"Well let's see who comes out."

(At Radio Hiro)

"I'm ending the chapter here so I can get to work on the next chapter, so goodbye one goodbye all till the next chapter."


	2. The Fight, And Other Stuff

**The Blatant Rpg**

**By Hiro-Katsu**

**Chapter 2: The Fight, And Other Stuff**

Read chapter 1 for the disclaimer, and also I don't own the WWE, (Don't ask why I said that) but I do own Radio Hiro, this fixed version also story switched chapter two, and no knowledge of Rpg's outside of the Final Fantasy Universe. (Mostly)

Now let's start chapter 2 of this story.

(Place: Green Town. Problem: Still seeing a dark cloud looming over Marty, Hiro, and Kaori.)

"I wonder who is in that cloud?"

"Usually when it's a dark cloud like that an evil overlord or something makes a decree about wanting to take over the world or something."

(Three people come out of the cloud, and it's not what they expect)

"Or three people were trying to mess with the population of this town, who look exactly like red mages."

(A figure who looks like Elise from their world but only also looking like a red mage) "Yes we were trying to scare some people out of this town like some bad parody of something else, and by the way my name is Esile the red mage." (Good with mostly everything but they have a stat reduction)

(A figure who looks like Marisol from their world but only looking like a red mage as well) "Since she said her name, mine is Losiram the red mage."

(A figure that looks like Seeiah from their world but only also looking like a red mage) "And I am Haiees the red mage and together we are all known as the "Lovely Red Mages"." (A/N: Notice something familiar here?)

(Kaori, Marty, and Hiro sweatdrop)

"Elise, Marisol, and Seeiah what the heck are you three doing here?"

"I think you got us confused with someone else, besides whom would we know who have dumb names like that?"

"So you're just alternate versions of our friends/rivals/riders?"

"What?"

(Just then something random comes up)

"You are some purdy ladies…ahhhh."

(Gets Shocked by a Thundaga spell by those Red mages, and Kaori, and then beaten to death by Hiro and Marty)

(11 minutes later)

"He is a snake that is a coward, and who wants JBL stew."

"No thanks; we have to get have to get back to the story anyway."

"Yeah you're right let's battle."

(Heeias pulls out a sharp knife on Hiro)

"Are you dumb we are still in the middle of the town."

(Hits Heeias with the back handle of his sword.)

"How dare you call one of our own dumb! Now feel the wrath of a blizzard." (A huge ice storm blows in and freezes up whoever is left in the town…including the aforementioned chocobos, and a Kentucky Fried Chocobo stand.)

How dare you freeze up the chocobos…

(Comes up behind Kaori) "Don't forget about the people, and the shops."

"That too. Now I cast a Firaga spell to counteract your ice spell ice queen." (All of sudden a huge Fireball comes up and burns off the ice and hits Heeias burning her to a crisp and also...)

"I didn't get to have a big part in the story nooo..." (Dies)

"How dare you kill one of our sisters you no one."

"Um...Esile look at that." (Both Lorisam and Esile look up at the tidal wave and get washed up)

(Marty looks at the impending/aforementioned tidal wave) "Umm...Kaori that um Firaga spell?"

"Yeah, what?"

"You dumb Japanese girl, don't you know with that fireball you caused a tidal wave and may have caused people who like Seeiah to flame the author." (As that was said Hiro gets washed up into the tidal wave and it deals damage to him)

(At Radio Hiro)

"I don't care about flames I just want someone to read this story."

"And another thing why do you already have your third level spells?" (Gets washed up into the tidal wave)

"I don't know...gah." (Now Kaori gets washed up in the tidal wave)

"Now I can do this and cast a thundaga spell in the water and kill you" (Kaori casts thundaga on the water, and shocking everyone)

(A few seconds earlier before everyone got shocked both of the lovely) "You stupid skank!"

(A few minutes later outside of green town everyone is dead but then again we skip back to Mt. Big where a confused Mac sees a certain door open, and goes in)

"Wonder what happened here and how come the door was left open, well I can see that the whole room is technically all thrown out and messed up, also I see on the screen that the characters are pretty much dead with electrified water, and in typical Rpg style that is very bad."

(Just then that same person who had trapped Kaori, Hiro, and Marty in the game speaks)

"Fool you do not know what you mean by that."

"What do you mean? Do you mean American Rpg rules because if you do me and the author don't know nothing about that."

"I don't mean American Rpg rules for most people tend to shy away from things like that imbecile."

"Look I didn't call you a name so let's just forget the whole thing."

(All of a sudden the door closes shut for some reason)

"Okay what's this all about?"

"Oh I think you might know already Mac Fraser."

"What in the hell do you mean by that?"

(After that was said we now see Mac Fraser getting sucked into the game but as a white mage after the clichéd screams and waking up to find that he's outside of Green town along with the aforementioned electrified people)

"Well I know what to do here."

(Remember folks Mac is a white mage here so…he uses a Life spell to revive everyone)

"I thought I saw the farplane. (Looks up to see someone looking like Mac Fraser) Mac-Kun!"

"Hey Kaori it seems I got tricked by that game as well."

"I'm done with chapter 2 here now I will also read a second disclaimer I also don't own the Final Fantasy series, WWE, and Taco Bell."

End Chapter 2


	3. Raise Reviews Chapter Part 1

The Blatant Rpg

Ch. 3: Raise Reviews Chapter Part 1

By Hiro Konobu

"Again oh so stereotypically said I Hiro Konobu still only own Radio Hiro, and my fics."

(By the way the group is still outside of Green Town)

"Mac-kun what are you doing here?"

"Well you see I found the same game in your apartment and some dude named the Ultimate and well got sent here as a white mage even if last chapter said otherwise or not Kaori."

"Hey Mac wasn't it supposed to be that you got sent here by the author last chapter?"

"Well due to that and possible edits the main bad guy is still going to stay the same no matter what Hiro Konobu does to mess up the story."

"Say cousin thanks for the spell that you used to revive us earlier but, can we get the story moving along?"

"Okay McFly we will continue with the story. (He spots two strange looking girls)

"Say who are those two girls that strangely look like Elise and Marisol?"

"Those two are known as Esile and Losiram but they want us to call them the "Lovely Red Mages" however…one of their people Heeias who looked like Seeiah did last chapter due to a half-assed kill."

"Hey…I think the author violated the Marisol…"

(Before Marty could say anything Mac interrupts Marty here)

Yo! Marty I think most people who read Hiro Konobu's would get what you were about to say...then again maybe not, but who really would know."

(Now we skip to Hiro Karamatsu who is currently…well trying to mack on the "Lovely Red Mages" with little success)

"So ladies what are you doing later tonight?"

"Look Hiro we don't want any."

"For all we know you probably just want to shove it in us."

"Well why don't you want any of Hiro Karamatsu?"

"Well aside from the fact the author was trying to get some corny sex based humor for once, and you're a lazy bastard."

"What did you say?"

"I said that you're a lazy bastard, isn't it right Losiram?"

"She's right, besides you haven't competed in another SSX circuit since it's induction."

"I'm not a lazy bastard, I just been doing other stuff…hey you're supposed not know this info after all, you are bizzaro versions of Elise, and Marisol."

"We found out by the author telling us, and all this is actually serious."

(Now Hiro, Esile, and Losiram look at the readers then somehow Marty comes in floating looking at the readers)

"Marty what the hell are you doing here?"

"Well I thought it be fun to help with the obscure reference."

"Well the reference would be complete…"

"Marty that is why the author hates you somewhat."

"Why?"

"For being a bad ex-patriot German version of me, and not making a good impact in the three SSX games as well."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well as much I like Mac to keep drabbling about it we have to move the story along…again right Mac."

"Of course Kaori, and you know what let's just stop saying let's move the story along because this fic has probably disinterested people from reading cause its getting tedious."

"Yeah, well the two "Lovely Red Mages" would love to help with it but we have to go."

"Well bye you two and don't get into any trouble while you venture in this area."

(As the "Lovely Red Mages" leave the main group we see the said main group trying to figure out where to go)

"So where do you think we should go next?"

"Well obviously the next town Marty."

"Well we don't have a map Mac…we should probably sleep at Green Town's inn/typical RPG resting place to recover health, and then get a map."

"Ok we are in agreement with that are we not."

"I don't know what you said Marty but all of us will have to agree on what you said for it is a parody and it's not supposed to make any sense."

(Later at the obviously named Green Town Inn)

"Well it's like this due to the so-called "Ultimate guy," whom probably no one knows formally since that show has been off for a year we are all basically stuck in this somewhat RPG hell."

"Of course Kaori, but remember it was your love of Rpg's that got us here in the first place."

(Just then Kaori sweatdrops at the last statement)

"So Marty, at least I know something about Rpg's unlike you, and probably never will know anything about them."

"Kaori! Do you want to me to beat you up!"

"No I'll just fry you."

(Before that happens Mac and Hiro hold both Marty and Kaori back from each other)

"Look Marty and Kaori you can fight amongst yourselves later for now we have to find out how we can get back at the ultimate and then kill that guy who sold you that game."

"Right Mac but first we must go to sleep because Marty did lose some HP doing his best to piss off the author."

"Hiro…just shut it."

(As the four SSX'ers go to sleep we flashback to when Kaori bought said game not mentioned earlier)

"Let's see we got some Ratchet & Clank games, some Sonic games and some others that the author can't mention for obvious reasons. Hey Marisol have you found anything good in terms actual gaming?"

"Nope all I could joke about is that damn Tornero game that disgraces our race horribly…"

(Just before Marisol could say something else Seeiah covered mouth for obvious reasons)

"Look girl I don't think that can fly off as an easy joke right plus the game was Torrente not Tornero no wonder why many fic authors who write in the SSX area want to kill you off."  
"You know almost no one likes you either Seeiah."

"No wonder why the people at EA Big set us up together."

"Now please if you two are done talking I'd like to get this story back on track, and find a good game to play later, which apparently has none."

(Now Kaori exits the game shop only find some strange guy coming up to her)

"Hello I hear you're looking for a good game to play aren't you?"

"Yes, but you are a strange guy who came up to me with no reason whatsoever to sell me a game."

"Okay you got me there and my game is called The Legacy Of Ultimates."

"Weird name for a game."

"Yeah but it is a parody on those Rpg namesakes."

"Oh this games' supposed to be bad on purpose…well everything except the gameplay."

"Hey as long as the gameplay is still good I really don't care, so how much for the game?"

"Five bucks."

"Oh hang on, I've got five bucks right here."

(Now as Kaori hands the strange guy the five bucks and gets said game she wakes up from her flashback dream sequence)

"Wow what a lame excuse to do some blatant back story from the author."

"What do you mean by that Kaori?"

"Sorry Mac, had a dream that was a lame excuse to do back story from the author."

"Yeah but even though the author had to that to try and do some explaining on how you got said game."

"Well it is true and now to advance the story along we have to go buy a map…"

"Already did that Kaori."  
"Woah, Hiro don't surprise me like that."

"Sorry Kaori but while you were sleeping me, Mac, and Marty bought a map downstairs."

"So where would the next town be anyway?"

"It's actually a city known as Yellow City…and those who make bad "Yellowcard" jokes shall be zapped by Kaori Thunder spells."

"Okay let's go then."

(A few minutes later outside of Green Town)

"Man doesn't it seem weird how you can tell the author gets tired near the end of a chapter."

"What do you mean…oh wait don't mention it any further cause that excuse has been used too much."

"Got ya."

(Just then some screaming is heard a few miles west the four SSX'ers go out that way to see what's going on over there only to find both Losiram and Esile captured)

"Hello SSX'ers I've been waiting for you…"

"Psymon?

To Be Continued…Next Chapter


End file.
